I was conceived by my horn-I mean, amorous parents just four weeks after my mom gave birth to my sister. (This just goes to show you how much my parents liked each other.) My mom lay on the bed and cried. She had a 2 year old son, a newborn, and had just gotten knocked up. Oh boy, you got yourself into a real pickle mom. Or ON one. HA  HA HA! Sorry. (This is one of my moms favorite traits, my inappropriate sense of humor.) Okay, moving on.

 I was born March 8, 1982, about 3 weeks after my due date. My cousin Landon and I switched our due dates. The doctor called me an old baby because I had been hanging out in amniotic fluid for too long and was all wrinkly. And I was kind of a weird looking baby. So to sum it all up:

I arrived too soon. Then I arrived too late. Then I was weird looking. And I didn't sleep through the night until I was 5. Can you see me doing a victory hand-clasp-shake right now? Cause I'm doing it. With my eyes closed and a proud grin on my face.

So. I'm my parents favorite, naturally.